Friday, October 29, 2004
Bedtime Story
I am awake.
I reach across my bed, finding only pillows. I am alone (again), it's not surprising though it's not very comforting either. I have been sleeping on my own for as long as I can remember and the few instances that I shared a bed I really enjoyed the warm, fuzzy feeling that you get waking up and looking at a dreamy-looking angel beside you. I always believed that people look their best when you see them straight out of bed - sans their make-up and their hang-ups. It's the time of the day when you can croak out a "good morning" and really mean it, and a smile can be the best thing that you receive all day.
Sharing a bed does not necessarily mean sex though it requires intimacy and trust. Morning breath and snoring is nothing compared to the scent some angel's hair and the joy of watching someone sleep peacefully. I also take pride in spoiling someone that I share my bed with with bedtime stories and back rubs. Talking the night away is'nt too bad either.
I prepare to sleep.
I reach across my bed and hold my pillow tight, wishing it were an angel tonight. The rain starts to fall.
I reach across my bed, finding only pillows. I am alone (again), it's not surprising though it's not very comforting either. I have been sleeping on my own for as long as I can remember and the few instances that I shared a bed I really enjoyed the warm, fuzzy feeling that you get waking up and looking at a dreamy-looking angel beside you. I always believed that people look their best when you see them straight out of bed - sans their make-up and their hang-ups. It's the time of the day when you can croak out a "good morning" and really mean it, and a smile can be the best thing that you receive all day.
Sharing a bed does not necessarily mean sex though it requires intimacy and trust. Morning breath and snoring is nothing compared to the scent some angel's hair and the joy of watching someone sleep peacefully. I also take pride in spoiling someone that I share my bed with with bedtime stories and back rubs. Talking the night away is'nt too bad either.
I prepare to sleep.
I reach across my bed and hold my pillow tight, wishing it were an angel tonight. The rain starts to fall.
Monday, October 18, 2004
A Brand New Day
Ever had a 5 minute shower in the morning before coming in to the office? I just did, having woke up at 30 minutes before my reporting time to my office. It was another rough night (my girlfriend just broke up with me for not giving her some jewelry, dammit!) and I slept at around 4:00 in the morning. I was thinking of filing a leave since I was feeling a little woozy even after a cold shower but I decided that coming to the office may be the best thing that I can do during this difficult time. Anyway, I was feeling like shit, literally and figuratively.
The quick shower was so much like what my ex treated our relationship - cold, fast and you have to get out of it without a feeling of satisfaction. That kind of shower makes you feel as if a few minutes more would have done it for you, but that much time you don't have.
I came in on time, having to blow my allowance for the next day on a cab just to make sure that I won't be late. It's nice to start the week, not being late though the shower time still haunts me even at this time. Oh well, I guess I can say the same about my recently failed relationship.
Funny how this entry sounds so light-years away (just reminiscing, folks). :D
The quick shower was so much like what my ex treated our relationship - cold, fast and you have to get out of it without a feeling of satisfaction. That kind of shower makes you feel as if a few minutes more would have done it for you, but that much time you don't have.
I came in on time, having to blow my allowance for the next day on a cab just to make sure that I won't be late. It's nice to start the week, not being late though the shower time still haunts me even at this time. Oh well, I guess I can say the same about my recently failed relationship.
Funny how this entry sounds so light-years away (just reminiscing, folks). :D
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Planting my Roots
Someone asked if I do not envy my friends who were able to travel after college and I answered that I honestly did not. Sure, I am happy for them to be able to visit other places, take pictures in exotic locations and be a stranger in a foreign land. Fact is, I travelled all my life and I am now enjoying a life where I can settle down and plant my roots. Sometimes it's a good feeling to rest my travelling shoes and unpack the things that I've acquired on my travels.
I started 'travelling' at an early age. While my peers were still being pampered in their homes, I was already extending my boundaries outside our small town. My high school memories were full of bus rides to the seminary and we were seldom allowed to go home. The little free time I had, I would divide between spending time with my Lola Alme and our home in Donsol. Sickness finally made me settle down in my home town and finish my studies there. Given the time to settle down and rest from 2 years worth of travel, high school was one of my happiest times in my life.
I packed my bags the second time when the halls of UP beckoned. After almost 6 tiring years of 'travel' it was again time to hang up my travelling boots and put to rest my wanderlust. This time, I am settling down on my own. The joys of home have finally faded and my sanctuary is 'where I lay my head', as the song goes.
This, however is but temporary. I know in time that the traveler in me would still crave for still-unseen lands and new people to meet. Until that time comes, I will enjoy my time settling down and planting my roots.
I started 'travelling' at an early age. While my peers were still being pampered in their homes, I was already extending my boundaries outside our small town. My high school memories were full of bus rides to the seminary and we were seldom allowed to go home. The little free time I had, I would divide between spending time with my Lola Alme and our home in Donsol. Sickness finally made me settle down in my home town and finish my studies there. Given the time to settle down and rest from 2 years worth of travel, high school was one of my happiest times in my life.
I packed my bags the second time when the halls of UP beckoned. After almost 6 tiring years of 'travel' it was again time to hang up my travelling boots and put to rest my wanderlust. This time, I am settling down on my own. The joys of home have finally faded and my sanctuary is 'where I lay my head', as the song goes.
This, however is but temporary. I know in time that the traveler in me would still crave for still-unseen lands and new people to meet. Until that time comes, I will enjoy my time settling down and planting my roots.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
A Final Chess Match
White Pawn to King 4...
You were already in the hospital then. I was expecting to have a night or two before coming back Manila, hoping to enjoy the last days of my vacation.
Black Pawn to King 3
They told me you ate something that totally upset your system. It was the first week of New Year, "that was something to be expected" I thought.
It's been a long time since I last saw you, and though I have always prepared myself for this moment, nothing could have prepared me for what I was to see...
White Pawn to Queen 4
Black Knight to Bishop 3
White Pawn takes Black Pawn...
After the news of your acciddent came, I numbed myself and decided that I would come and visit after you have somehow "recovered" and I was encouraged by the news that I gleaned from my brothers and sisters. I knew that the time for my visit would finally come. After all, i was "always busy" with my work. But you knew that I would be too distraught to see you in such a state.
Black Knight takes Pawn
You were after all, one of the pillars that held the roof together and few people would ever want to know and acknowledge that one pillar of their house is crumbling. I lent my hand from afar, afraid that I too would crumble if I were to share the cross that you bear.
White Knight to Bishop 3
I finally came to visit. I was though that the accident would leave you this way, in my perfect world I never imagined the hardships that you encountered everyday. It never crossed my mind that such a strong and confident person would be afflicted by depression that was brought about by the accident.
All I wanted then was a chess match with you, as Sam told me how tough nut you are top crack. It seems like fate has some other plans.
White King castles
For the few moments that we were together, you never reprimanded me for not visiting earlier. You never told me about the pains that you have save for some minor discomforts. You showed me how it is to have courage and hope when faced with such a situation.
You said good night but you never said good-bye, and you never gave me a chance to beat you on a chess match.
White Tower captures White Knight, Checkmate.
You were already in the hospital then. I was expecting to have a night or two before coming back Manila, hoping to enjoy the last days of my vacation.
Black Pawn to King 3
They told me you ate something that totally upset your system. It was the first week of New Year, "that was something to be expected" I thought.
It's been a long time since I last saw you, and though I have always prepared myself for this moment, nothing could have prepared me for what I was to see...
White Pawn to Queen 4
Black Knight to Bishop 3
White Pawn takes Black Pawn...
After the news of your acciddent came, I numbed myself and decided that I would come and visit after you have somehow "recovered" and I was encouraged by the news that I gleaned from my brothers and sisters. I knew that the time for my visit would finally come. After all, i was "always busy" with my work. But you knew that I would be too distraught to see you in such a state.
Black Knight takes Pawn
You were after all, one of the pillars that held the roof together and few people would ever want to know and acknowledge that one pillar of their house is crumbling. I lent my hand from afar, afraid that I too would crumble if I were to share the cross that you bear.
White Knight to Bishop 3
I finally came to visit. I was though that the accident would leave you this way, in my perfect world I never imagined the hardships that you encountered everyday. It never crossed my mind that such a strong and confident person would be afflicted by depression that was brought about by the accident.
All I wanted then was a chess match with you, as Sam told me how tough nut you are top crack. It seems like fate has some other plans.
White King castles
For the few moments that we were together, you never reprimanded me for not visiting earlier. You never told me about the pains that you have save for some minor discomforts. You showed me how it is to have courage and hope when faced with such a situation.
You said good night but you never said good-bye, and you never gave me a chance to beat you on a chess match.
White Tower captures White Knight, Checkmate.
